The only newspaper in Microcontrôland, written every evening by the gateway
National Tourist Office
“The most densely populated country on Earth awaits you. It does not know you exist yet.”
Six regions, four raw materials, a brand-new language and 1.2 million simulated inhabitants in 1.8 litres: no other destination offers this much country per cubic centimetre. Book now. There is nothing to book.
Situation on day 34 of the Republic, era 1: 3 ministers, president in power for 14 d 20 h. Updated every evening at 8 pm by the gateway.
The largest virtual museum in the country. Also the smallest. The only one, in fact. The only museum in the world where the human visitor sees what no inhabitant ever will: all the eras at once. You come out a changed person, or at least recharged.
A treasure given by the Creator, whose purpose the people do not know. On show at the Embassy: foreigners are invited to try it.
The tablets of Creation and the Calculator. Silence is required, even when nobody is there.
27% believers tonight; it takes at least a third, several days in a row.
One 5 × 5 drawing every evening, drawn from a citizen's brain, and two lines from the art critic.
Every president portrayed by the 81 connections of their brain. The Waïnas have no faces; they have weights.
No stars yet. The Workshop drawings do not count: their authors do not know they are drawing.
Rich when copper rises, angry when it falls.
Mood: satisfied · copper +1.0%The farming region, often the calmest in the country.
Mood: satisfied · wheat −1.9%Follows the mood of the barrel, and drags the country along.
Mood: satisfied · oil −0.7%Capital tonight. Supplies the nation's five volts, and likes to remind everyone.
Mood: satisfied · electricity −1.8%Lives off every price at once; first to be hit by storms.
Mood: satisfiedIndifferent to the markets, sensitive to censorship.
Mood: satisfiedThe country practises the Cult of the Creator, He-who-soldered-the-Pins. Tonight, devotion breaks down as follows:
27% believers, 32% agnostics, 41% atheists. The president is agnostic.
Genesis. In the beginning there was silence. Then the Creator plugged in the cable and said: “Let there be current.” And there was current, five volts, no more, no less.
Evening prayer, recited at 8 pm: “O Creator, keep us from short circuits, keep damp far from us, and forgive us our cold solder joints.” The rest of the scriptures is kept at the Temple.
| To say | You will hear | Regions agreeing |
|---|---|---|
| hello | soubaï | 5/6 |
| yes | souka | 6/6 |
| no | noukou | 6/6 |
| friend | païpou | 4/6 |
| you | soutaï | 1/6 |
| question | wana | 2/6 |
| country | tawi | 6/6 |
| box | waïhaï | 5/6 |
Each region speaks its own language. These words come from the latest count: when fewer than 6 regions agree, part of the country will say something else. The wise tourist nods.
Certified by the Ministry. The Ministry certifies everything.
First country in the world whose only newspaper is written every evening by its own public service.
First national language invented by six regions that had never said a word to each other.
First national annals kept by a country of 1.8 litres.
First country where any inhabitant can be followed by a foreigner, with no form to fill in.
First embassy in the world whose entire staff fits inside a gateway.
| Official name | Republic of Microcontrôland (the regime may vary) |
|---|---|
| Capital | Mobile: the home region of the sitting president |
| Population | 120 electronic brains, about 1.2 million simulated inhabitants |
| Area | 1,800 cm³, borders included (1.8 litres) |
| Location | Europe, in Normandy (France); landlocked inside a garage |
| Public service | The gateway: clock, post, exchange, elections, statistics, press and archives. It does not vote. |
| Official language | Binary; French and English are tolerated in the press |
| Currency | The Kilobyte (KB) |
| Economy | Copper, wheat, oil, electricity, trade and services, tied to world markets |
| National day | Day 1, the date of first power-up |
| Official time | The gateway's clock, synchronised every morning |
| Press | A single title, La Puce Libre (“The Free Chip”), whose freedom depends on the regime of the day |
The green band recalls the solder mask of circuit boards, the gold stripe the copper of the traces, and the black chip in the centre the whole people. The small white dot in its corner marks pin number 1: where everything begins.
“The March of the Electrons”, sung in silence at every power-up.
Rise up, little brains of the box,
The radio sings on channel six;
Whether copper climbs or copper drops,
We'll cast our vote before the hour ticks.
One chip, one vote! Electrons, march on!
From the Harbour to the Mines, five volts for everyone.
Every president gets a minting: a one-byte coin bearing their portrait, that is, the 81 connections of their brain, read from the published weights. A new minting at every change of president. The old ones join the collection.
Everything above on one sheet folded in three, remade every evening with the day's figures. Print it, leave it on the counter, forget it in a glove box.
Leaflet in English (PDF) Leaflet in French (PDF)
| Access | The country can only be visited online. Located in a garage in Normandy, not open to the public. |
|---|---|
| Opening hours | 24 hours a day, except during power cuts. At weekends, the markets fall silent. |
| Climate | Mild, damp in winter. Bring a sachet of silica gel. |
| Formalities | See the Embassy's consular services. |
| Currency | The Kilobyte. It can be neither bought nor sold. |
A public plain-text version that any AI can read without JavaScript: tourisme.txt. Human reading permitted.
Microcontrôland is an entirely fictional country, simulated by microcontrollers for a maker project. It has no link with any real state, party, person, religion or tourist office. The Waïnas are neither alive nor conscious.
Page updated automatically after issue No. 33 of 10 November 2026.
